What Non-Vegetarians Think We Eat
vs. The Feast We’re Actually Having
Coming soon - a series of fantastic interviews with leaders in the fields of yoga, nutrition and psychology. Stay tuned…
Becoming a vegetarian isn’t just a lifestyle shift—it’s practically a family scandal. When I first announced my new diet, my relatives reacted with the kind of concern typically reserved for joining a cult. “Are you sure?” they’d ask, sliding a salad bowl toward me, as if lettuce could somehow cure my supposed insanity. They imagined my future as a bleak, joyless existence, reduced to a cycle of raw carrots and granola. “How will you know what to eat?”
Non-vegetarians seem to believe we spend our days nibbling at side dishes, as if meals without meat are culinary tragedies. One friend even smuggled chicken into my vegetarian wedding, handing it out like contraband, convinced we’d all secretly regret our decision.
The Imaginary Vegetarian Menu
Ask any meat-eater what they think we eat, and the picture they paint is dire. They envision us listlessly slumped over a pile of boiled cabbage, dreaming of salami like it’s a lost lover. “How do you survive without chicken?” they ask, with the urgency of someone worried we’re running out of air.
Tofu? In their minds, it’s the embodiment of our punishment, eaten in sad, tasteless slabs. A pale, joyless existence, they assume, all because we’ve turned our backs on meat.
What We’re Actually Eating
In reality, being a vegetarian is like unlocking an ever-evolving feast. Our meals are anything but sparse. We’ve got fragrant curries, rich cauliflower cheese, and veggie burgers packed with flavor. Hell, India has 1.4 billion people, 25% of whom are vegetarian. Meanwhile, our carnivorous counterparts stick to steak-chicken-pork on repeat. They think tofu’s sad? Clearly, they’ve never marinated, grilled, or sautéed it to perfection.
The Family Dinner Drama
Family dinners are another story. Every gathering becomes a minefield. “Just eat the potatoes,” they plead, desperate to find common ground, oblivious to the fact they’re cooked in meat drippings. “There’s broccoli too,” they’ll add, as if some soggy greens might tempt me back from the veggie abyss. Meanwhile, I’m daydreaming about the aubergine lasagna waiting for me at home.
The Bacon Obsession
The one meat everyone assumes we lie awake missing. “But don’t you miss bacon?” they ask, as if it were a law of the universe, like gravity or needing coffee. In South Africa, it’s biltong. It’s like these meats are sacred truths, impossible to live without.
A Gentle Reminder for the Carnivores
For all their concern, non-vegetarians mean well. They’re convinced we’re missing out on life’s greatest pleasures. But we’ve found something richer—an abundance of flavors and textures they can’t imagine. We’re not surviving on side dishes; we’re feasting on the future of food.
So, a question to my fellow vegetarians: what’s the strangest thing a meat-eater has ever assumed about your diet? And for the carnivores reading this, don’t worry, there’s plenty of mashed potatoes to go around.
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